Yellow Mama E zine

Letting Guilt Go

 

by Louella Lester

 

          The security guard is looking at me again. I’ve just pulled a baby carrot from a bag I brought in from home. I’m not going to let him make me feel guilty the way I always feel guilty when a security guard looks at me. Some throwback to when, as a teen, I took a new pair of jeans into the unmonitored dressing room on the second floor of a downtown department store, pulled them on, pulled my old baggy jeans over top, and walked out. But the only thing I could possibly have done wrong today is bring outside food into the food court. Are there rules about that? I scan the walls near the entrance and see no signs to that effect. I look right at the security guard, right into his beady little eyes, and realize he’s not looking at me at all. It’s the baby carrot that’s caught his attention. I dig into the plastic packet and pull out another carrot, pop it into my mouth and chew and chew and swallow. The security guard’s eyes are now damp. I pull out another carrot and chew. A tear rolls down his cheek. Another carrot, another tear. Something is now poking out of his collar. Something furry, brown. He sees I’ve noticed, reaches up exposing his crescent-shaped claws, and stuffs the brown fur back into his shirt. Enjoying his obvious discomfort, I pull out and chew the second last baby carrot, slowly, until he’s shaking. Then I whip out the final carrot and throw it at his feet. He can’t help himself, bends to claw it up, then hops toward the exit, while two long brown fur-covered ears pop out to stand up on top of his head.

 

 

      Louella Lester is a writer/photographer in Winnipeg, Canada, author of the CNF book Glass Bricks (At Bay Press 2021), contributing editor at New Flash Fiction Review, and is included in Best Microfiction 2024 & 2026.  Her writing/photos appear in variety of journals and anthologies.    http://louellalesterblog.wordpress.com

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  Bernice Holtzman’s paintings and collages have appeared in shows at various venues in Manhattan, including the Back Fence in Greenwich Village, the Producer’s Club, the Black Door Gallery on W. 26th St., and one other place she can’t remember, but it was in a basement, and she was well received. She is the Assistant Art Director for Yellow Mama.