Yellow Mama E zine

 Prompt

 

by Craig Kirchner

 

In my thirtieth year of midlife crisis,

I can smell self-doubt across the room,

feel anxiety when it walks through the door.

My denials started early, being sure I wouldn’t

get to midlife and didn’t need to grow up.

 

I’ve developed the aptitude of masking

emotional turmoil, boredom, regret—

spend days anxiously sifting through the past,

for signs of purpose—memorializing, planting

white flags on those moments that seem meaningful.

 

These important posts don’t necessarily make us

who we are but certainly tell us where we’ve been.

They provide a trail to get back with an armload

of huge sins to atone for, and events of beauty

to lean on—friends that provide an impetus to grow.

 

A flesh and blood friend with his own impermanence,

his own bag of tricks, hands me a prayer book,

tells me I need to stop defining my world with tedious prose,

set a goal to get closer to God. Goals, and commitment

to see them through have never been long-term talents.

 

This critique brings me back nicely to here and now,

back to a white legal pad, my battle with mortality,

my white flags and the journey they outline.

I say a quick prayer there will be no clichés, turn off

the TV, mute the phone and attempt to write it all down.

 

 

       Craig Kirchner is retired and living in Jacksonville, FL, because that’s where his granddaughters are. He loves the aesthetics of writing, has a book of poetry, Roomful of Navels, and has been nominated three times for a Pushcart. Craig's writing has been published in Chiron Review, Main Street Rag, The Wise Owl, Yellow Mama, About Place Journal, and dozens of others. He houses 500 books in his office and about 400 poems on a laptop; these words help keep him straight. More about Craig can be found on Bluesky, and there is an interview up at Spillwords.

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          Bernice Holtzman’s paintings and collages have appeared in shows at various venues in Manhattan, including the Back Fence in Greenwich Village, the Producer’s Club, the Black Door Gallery on W. 26th St., and one other place she can’t remember, but it was in a basement, and she was well received. She is the Assistant Art Director for Yellow Mama.