CLEVER IS FOR HORSES

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by Ed Teja

 

 

          I’ve always been a clever person. Sometimes that has made life difficult. Oddly, clever people turn out not to be all that popular. Slower people resent a quick mind. It isn’t their fault, so you deal with it.

          In high school, my teachers thought I was a showoff. Sure, I wanted them to acknowledge I was clever, but how is that different from giving some kid who is big and strong credit for being an athlete? Neither of us did anything to deserve the edge we have over the others but being big and fast deserved praise; whereas, I was supposed to hide being clever.

          Like it was something shameful.

          When I got my first job, cleaning up the filthy backroom of a store, the boss wanted it done his stupid way. I tried to show him a better way. One that was clever. He was petty and spiteful—“Clever is for horses,” he said.

          The Army was worse; they make dumbness into a virtue. I suppose that is why they unenlisted me after just three months.

          And my marriage . . . the less said about that, the better. Linda hated it when I was clever. I wasn’t clever enough to see how miserable cleverness made her—I’m not perfect.

          Now I have people talking in the next room, letting me hear their muffled voices. They are being clever, they think. They come in, ask a few questions, often the same ones, then step outside and pretend to discuss it. It's not clever, it is annoying.

          I’m sure you understand.

          It won’t work. No matter how many times they ask I’m not going to tell them Linda managed to fall out the window.

          That wouldn’t be clever at all.

 

         Ed Teja is a full-time writer and part-time martial arts instructor. A member of The Short Mystery Fiction Society, his recent publications include stories in Black Cat Weekly, Punk Noir, Yellow Mama, Black Petals, Wyldeblood, Anotherealm, Mystery Tribune, and several Crimeucopia anthologies. He is a finalist for this year's Shamus Award for short PI fiction.

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       KJ Hannah Greenberg is eclectic. She’s played oboe, participated in martial arts, learned basket weaving, and studied Middle Eastern dancing. What’s more, she’s a certified herbalist, and an AP College Board-authorized teacher of calculus. 

       Her creative efforts have been nominated once for The Best of the Net in poetry, once for The Best of the Net in art, three times for the Pushcart Prize in Literature for poetry, once for the Pushcart Prize in Literature for fiction, once for the Million Writers Award for fiction, and once for the PEN/Diamonstein-Spielvogel Award for the Art of the Essay. To boot, Hannah’s had more than forty-five books published and has served as an editor for several literary journals.

Check out her latest short fiction collection, An Orbit of Chairs:

https://www.amazon.com/Orbit-Chairs-KJ-Hannah-Greenberg/dp/B0CWMMM73T

 Within its pages are two tales originally published at Yellow Mama: "Alive Another Day" and "Light Notes."

Channie's new art book, Life's Colors, https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FGCTHJ6Z, just launched (hit "read sample" button). It contains images originally published by Yellow Mama.